Dear Screwtape,
I have wanted to write to you for a while. It took some time, however, to find where to send it. I looked all over social media for you. I had heard you are quite active, and all, but I still could not find you. Then I realized, you are not going to use your real name. That is too out in the open. That is too honest. That is when I found one of your many dummy accounts, @ReallyRighteousDude. How clever of you.
I will get to the point. We call it, “Poking the bear.” Not a wise thing to do. We have another saying, “Let sleeping dogs lie.” Both mean the same. The situation was to your liking, especially on college campuses. Then you go and have your incompetent nephew, Wormwood, push his “Patient” over the top. What does he go and do? Assassinate Charlie, God’s most effective young apologist of our day.
I Just wanted to thank you. Not for the slaying. That was par for your demonic ways, horrendous and horrific. There have been lots of tears. But before backslapping your nephew or congratulating yourself, observe that the dog woke up. Did not see that coming, did you? You demons have never been good at seeing beyond your next temptation. Proving what was said long ago about your lying Master, he is nothing more than the “God’s devil.” And you are nothing more than “God’s demon.” Is that too deep for you? We have another saying, “You just got played like a fiddle.”
It must frustrate you to no end that you and your ilk are nothing more than a lowly pawn. You think you are moving to your next “square” to do your dirty work. Our God is already seven moves ahead of you. Said another way, your horde is playing checkers. Our God is playing chess, more like seven-dimensional chess, one with multiple levels. It makes me chuckle when I compare your operation to His.
But back to your campus slaying in Utah. You probably thought it was funny to bring down a strong, masculine type like Mr. Kirk, by using a feminine type like your “Patient.” That just made the distinction clearer. You are frightened by men who know who they are, the kind that lead, love, and protect. You hastened the end of your concocted alphabet soup of gender and sexuality. It is becoming a punchline, a laugh-out-loud joke, about to join your trio of clowns, Marx, Darwin, and Freud—dopes of yours who caused problems for awhile but who are losing their hold.
Surely you are aware of the growing fallout. Young people, especially the men, are seeing through the fog of your secularism and leftist thought. Yours is a death-cult. And the rotting smell of your ideology no longer attracts like it once did. You should be used to this by now. You fight a losing battle for a losing team.
You are best known as a letter-writer and not as a letter-receiver. As you probably have figured out, I have read your letters to your nephew. You fancy yourself as an expert in tempting and outcome. Your tempting advice, sadly, is sound. But your ability to foresee the outcome is lousy.
Maybe you should familiarize yourself with our Book, the one our Father wrote. There is a lesson for you way back in Genesis. It applies nicely to your recent blunder, loosely translated, “What you meant for evil, God meant it for good.”
I close with another phrase of ours, one that stands the test of time. It goes back nearly 2,000 years. Surely you have heard it before. “The blood of the martyrs is the seed of the church.” I guess you do not believe it.
So, thanks for another assist. Yes, we grieve for our fallen brother. But you just spread a lot more seeds.
Forthrightly, from a little-known pastor in South Tacoma,
Rich Hamlin
P.S. Do not bother to write back.